Delayed, Premature, and Retrograde Ejaculation
Are *** problems an issue of mind over matter?
Well, if men and their partner don’t mind how long it takes them to ejaculate, then it really doesn’t matter. For example, Ian Kerner, PhD, a *** therapist and author of She Comes First, advises men to bring their partners to the brink of *** before having ***. Then, if he’s prone to premature ***, it doesn’t matter since both of them come away satisfied.
Conversely, if a man takes longer than average to ejaculate, but both partners enjoy marathon *** sessions, then delayed *** can be a real plus.
However, some men do mind how long it takes them to ejaculate — and so do their partners. But while the mind often plays a big role in creating *** problems, it’s also key in overcoming them. Here are some tips on what to do.
Common Ejaculation Problems
There are three mainthings that can go wrong with ***:
Premature *** is by far the biggest complaint that men have about their *** performance. After studying data gathered by the National Health and Social Life Survey, sociologist Edward Laumann, PhD, estimated that a third of American men complain that they ejaculate too quickly. They want to last longer during *** to prolong the pleasure, both for themselves and their partners.Delayed *** affects a much smaller number of men — as few as 3%, according to some estimates. It’s one of the most poorly understood *** problems. Some men cannot reach *** at all, at least not with a partner.Retrograde *** is the least common of the *** problems. It causes *** to back into the bladder during *** instead of exiting by way of the ***. The *** is then later flushed out when you urinate.
Retrograde *** can be caused by diabetes, nerve damage, various medications, and surgery that disturbs the sphincter muscle. It’s harmless and won’t interfere with the feeling of ***. (It can also make for an easy post-*** clean-up.) But since it does affect fertility, some men may need treatment if their partners are trying to get pregnant.
What Causes Delayed Ejaculation?
There are lots of different reasons for delayed ***. Some medicines — like antidepressants — can cause it. For many men, it happens due to age. As we grow older, the nerve endings in the *** become less sensitive, says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50, and a professor of human *** at the California State University, Fullerton.
“When the reflexes slow down, it takes longer,” Keesling says. “Another thing that happens with age is that your erection ability goes down too, so it becomes more difficult to ejaculate without a full erection.”
You may also have a hand in your delayed *** problem. By adopting a *** technique that involves intense pressure, friction and speed, some men train themselves to respond to a level of stimulation no partner could duplicate — at least not without coaching, which the man usually is reluctant to provide.
Michael A. Perelman, PhD, a *** and marital therapist in New York, says he sometimes recommends a *** moratorium for men delayed ***. This does more than stop the practices that may be contributing to the problem. It also allows a build-up of *** desire, which provides “a mechanism for reducing the threshold of arousal necessary for ***,” Perelman says.
But while *** can cause delayed ***, it can also aid in the cure. If a guy won’t agree to keep his hands off, Perelman will urge him at least to alter his *** style — to switch hands, for example — in order to break old habits. The problem is that your tried-and-true, quick-and-dirty *** style is probably terrible practice for *** with another person.
So instead of just *** efficiently to achieve ***, Perelman encourages men to fantasize about a *** experience with their partner while they ***. He tells them to try “to approximate, in terms of speed, pressure and technique, the stimulation he likely will experience through manual, oral, or vaginal stimulation with his partner.” It might take a little longer, but it makes *** more of a “dress rehearsal” for ***. You can also talk to your partner about your fantasy afterwards, Perelman suggests.
Premature Ejaculation Cure: Self-Love
So what about the much more common problem of premature ***? In this case, *** can be just the ticket. Having repeated orgasms will bring on delayed *** in almost any guy. Some believe that the best premature *** tip is to double the number of orgasms a man has per week. And if that doesn’t work, to double it again.
There’s some evidence to support this folk remedy.
“Young men with a short refractory period may often experience a second and more controlled *** during an episode of ***,” says Chris G. McMahon, MD, in a 2004 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Masturbation may also help men learn to control their level of arousal, which is essential for delaying ***.
Other Ways to Treat Premature Ejaculation
One time-honored technique for premature *** is to distract yourself — to think about something boring or even disgusting to delay your ***. While this may work for some, it has the unfortunate side effect of distancing men from their partners and the *** experience.
There’s also an obvious alternative: pull out and stop having *** for a few minutes to postpone ***. Sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson elaborated on this when they developed the “squeeze-pause” technique, also known as the “*** grip,” to quell the desire to climax. As the name implies, this involves squeezing the head of the *** as *** approaches.
Perelman teaches men a variation of the Masters and Johnson technique. It involves slowing themselves down and altering their movements in a way that maximizes their partner’s pleasure. They do this while maintaining their erection but without overexciting themselves.
Antidepressants for Premature Ejaculation?
For men who aren’t helped by any of these techniques, there’s a pharmaceutical option. Since some antidepressants — selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs — are known to cause delayed ***, researchers tried them as a way to treat premature ***. It typically takes 2-3 weeks to get the full effects from SSRIs. If you stop treatment, symptoms will return.
A short-acting SSRI called dapoxetine has been developed specifically for premature ***. According to a 2006 study published in The Lancet, when taken one to three hours before ***, the drug increased the time from penetration to *** from 1.75 minutes to 2.78 minutes for men treated with 30 milligrams of the drug. Men who got 60 milligrams lasted 3.32 minutes.
“A couple of minutes may not sound like much, but for these guys it was huge,” said the lead author of the study, Jon L. Pryor, MD, when the results were published in September 2006. However, dapoxetine has not been approved by the FDA and is not available in the United States.
Instead of drugs, some men use a desensitizing cream to delay ***. There’s an even simpler solution: double up your condoms to reduce your stimulation. For some men, behavioral and psychological therapies also help. Combining therapy and medication seems to be more effective than just taking medication.
Treating Ejaculation Problems
Whatever your *** problem, there are solutions. The key is to get help. And we don’t just mean from a doctor, although that’s important — *** problems can be signs of more serious medical issues, after all.
But you also need to talk openly with your partner — something that many men are loath to do.
“Almost universally, men [with *** problems] fail to communicate their preferences for stimulation to either their doctor or their partners, because of shame, embarrassment, or ignorance,” Perelman tells WebMD.
So don’t stay mum and let shame or male pride ruin your *** life (and your partner’s). Letting that tension build up will just make things worse. With some openness, some discussion, and maybe a few fun new techniques in the bedroom, you can overcome your *** problem. That means less worry and more ***.